so that wasnt chicken after all
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
her vagine was all disorganized.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
