Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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