I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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