He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
