i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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