I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
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i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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