his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
