me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
