she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
