so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
