brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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