I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize