my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
