You just made me feel so damn special
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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