My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
we're so committed to being not committed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
