Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
