There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
