fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize