Do vagina's smell?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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