I want you more than these girls want KFC
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So apparently I’m into choking now
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