He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
