bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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