Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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