____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Randomize