I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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