i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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