At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
