just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
