I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
