and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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