I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
