I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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