I looked at my own cervix.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
