Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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