are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
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It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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