last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
