I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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