is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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