butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
