how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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