your room smells of hookers.
And success
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
