NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
