Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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