can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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