We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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