words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
