a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
