How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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