Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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