Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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