She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
