im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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