That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Your cock deserves a montage
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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