just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Someone came in the potted fern
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
