so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
