Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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